Kathleen Kelly

"What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence? [stops and thinks] Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out."

I love this movie. I love Kathleen Kelly and Joe F-O-X and today I had a Kathleen Kelly moment - big time.

When we first moved in, a couple of our neighbors warned us about the guy who lives below us. Well, today I met our charming neighbor. Lucky me. I will spare your intelligence by not repeating the full extent of his comments and though his claims may have been centered on some aspect of truth, his amplifications and veiled threats did little to help his case.

My response? Nothing. I think there was a vague nod at one point and possibly an okay and next thing I know the rant is over, the neighbor is gone, and I have nothing left to do but shut the door. The worst part is that I spent the rest of the day rehashing what he said and thinking of all of the clever and scathing remarks that I should have said. I realize I was only belaboring my own negative feelings and regardless of the number of eloquent defenses I composed they were simply wasted on a sparkling clean kitchen floor and the laundry.

I wonder why I freeze when confronted and later know exactly what I should have done or said when the moment is past. Maybe Joe Fox is right:

"But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows."

But then why am I feeling so bad for saying nothing?